office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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