Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
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