I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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