my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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