I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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