you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
