It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think my moral compass just broke
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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