just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
