I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
