Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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