I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
