I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
