He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
