It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
