I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
