I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
