Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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