if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
