There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
