Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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