it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
