Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
