I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
