Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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