Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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