I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
