Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
