I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
