Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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