why didn't you poke me back
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
where are my eyebrows?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
