Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
