hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
