I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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