Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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