You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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