5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
