i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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