Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
