Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
