I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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