Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
