So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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