I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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