Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
