are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
