she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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