evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
