I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
