Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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