She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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