home. puking in laundry basket.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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